I am spending this evening at home. My hair is done, my makeup is re-done (it got messed up earlier), and I look splendid and according to my mom "like a hoochie", which she remarked in a sour tone and not in a joking tone or even a tongue in cheek one, which is fine. This isn't for her so I don't much care (at the moment) if she criticizes me since I figure she is embarrassed or ashamed or whatever of me, and you know what? That's fine too. I will welcome in the New Year the way that I wish to exit it, as a proud girl.

A new decade, a new life.

What about everyone else? How are you welcoming 2010?

Hope everyone enjoys their respective late December holidays.

Peace and love,
Miss Harmony Moon

As much as I love it when everyone compliments me I come to all of you with a request for critique. The following three pictures were taken today and I'd really like to get any advice for improvement or simply things to try. Please and thank you.

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There was a bit of an incident this morning...

My mom woke up at what I thought was 9:30 (turns out what I thought was a "9" was actually a "4") asking if I'd ever "hit a fat kid with long dark hair in the balls with a crutch". At a normal hour when I wasn't half asleep from just getting woken up after only getting about 4 hours of sleep I would've been confused by this so I was well beyond baffled baffled and said that I don't recall ever doing that and asked why.
TURNS OUT she was asking because our house got toilet papered and that was the story the said fat kid with long hair was telling the cops that were in front of our house.
From what I gathered the story goes like this: Sarah and Cody (my brother's girlfriend and friend) were leaving our house when they saw that it had been toilet papered. They go back to the garage to tell my brother and when they come back out they see the kid take off. So Cody takes off after him and ends up chasing him almost to downtown and running in circles and eventually clotheslines the kid. My brother calls the cops and they come out. The kid turns out to be a kid named Kody Crum (which is ironic because he was being chased by Cody) and what he tells the cops is that I'm "such a ****ing fag." and that I "hit me in the balls with a crutch." So now it's a hate crime and my brother is yelling and screaming about everything saying things like "I might not get along with my brother ever but no one's gonna **** with my family." which I suppose is him being nice to me.....sort of.....indirectly anyway. The cops make him clean up as much of the toilet paper as possible (there is some of it on our roof still, which really toilet paper was a bad choice if you think about it. I mean, we are one of the only house on the street that doesn't have trees in our front yard so.....I think egging or forking would've been a much better choice but anyway...) and remove this sign and tiny American flags they'd put in our front yard (I'm not sure what all of that was about....The sign said something about "Singers Wanted for an a Capella group" and had the word "Ghost" written on it with marker. I have no idea if that is suppose to mean something or what...Oh, and the flags? The cop thought we were just patriotic when my mom mentioned them) before they hauled him away.
There is just a whole lot of weird things about this really. Like, I know this Kody kid kind of, but I've not talked to him since I had a class with him my junior year (two years ago) where he either was sleeping in class or just not there so there weren't a whole lot of words exchanged, and even less of me hitting him in his boy bits with a crutch. Also, even though he said he did this by himself, there were tired marks in our yard. I think I'm gonna ask a couple question but I can already take an educated guess of a small group of people that would've been involved. Not that I plan to be vengeful or anything, but I would like the satisfaction of knowing who all are sad enough to not move on with their lives.

On one had I think this is funny buuuuuuuuut on the other....it really hurts.

Two days ago I was at the mall with a friend of mine (in boy role) and a guy actually mistook me as a girl from behind. It felt so good because I wasn't even dressed up or anything and I was STILL mistaken for a girl. However, during that same trip two different people that work at the mall recognized me as Harmony so....mmmm....I'm still not sure how to feel about that. They weren't rude or anything and they were actually really nice and talked to me a bit but still....either that means I'm a manly girl or a girlie man.

I hope it's the latter...





Yesterday I received a phone call from a recruiter for the Marines who was doing just that, trying to recruit me....It was an interesting 7 minutes (to say the least) that brightened my day.
When I was handed the phone and told it was for me I was quite befuddled because no one calls me on our home phone. It was the recruiter who introduces himself, though since I'm terrible with names I forgot it promptly. He asked what all I was doing and wanted to see what the Marines could do to help. I fumbled to tell him very subtly that I'm not what the Marines are looking for, to which he quickly asked why not and I told him that I felt awkward saying why to someone I didn't even know. He explained to me that over the course of working there he had heard some pretty wild things and assured me that I wasn't going to top some of them as he tried to weasel out of me why. The topic then steered away a bit and he asked if I was working or going to college and things like that before asking if I was a musician. I said yes, which prompted him to ask me many different questions about that (which if I didn't know better I'd say he was genuinely interested ((which to some extent I'm sure he was)), but what I really think was he was trying to recruit me from the Marine band as I remember the very same thing happening while I was still in high school when some Marines were there).
Then (I'm not really sure how) he ninja'd his way into getting me into answer this little check list thing of sorts for what makes me qualified to be in the Marines. He asked about my age, if I was US citizen, if I'd had any major run ins with the police, if I did/do any illegal drugs, if I had an detrimental past injuries, etc etc etc. From his check list I was pretty much an ideal candidate (if I had a lobotomy that is)......until he asked if I had ever had any surgery. I told him "Not as of yet." and he asked if I was planning to get reconstructive surgery or whatever. Once again I had an awkward period where I tripped over my words and out came a response along the lines of "Well....umm...several of them...uhhh...the biggest being....uhh ....in the......... well.....crotchular region....."

Then there was silence....

Which was followed by a reply of "Oh....well....you actually managed to top all of my other stories.....If I was a chick I'd be a total slut, ya know? That IS what you're talking about right?". I said yes and he asked what I was planning to change my name to. So I told him and he replied with a blase "Cool, cool. Well good luck with that.". Then goodbyes were exchanged and that was that.

I'd been feeling rather down prior to this because I felt manly and gross and by the end of talking to this Marine I felt so much more feminine by comparison and it made me feel good.

But

I have two questions: 1. Why is it that the first thing people usually ask is what I plan to change my name to? I'm not bothered by this at all but it just doesn't strike me as the first thing that they would ask.
And 2. Why do almost all men at some point feel the need to say "Dude, if I was a chick I'd totally have sex with everyone I saw." or some variation of that? I'd like to know rather than just simply write it off as men being pigs or something brash like that...even though that seems to be the most logical answer...






And today, I went out with my friend WitheringOctopus (as she is known on here) and we went aboot thrifting and we tried on a bunch of clothes. I bought several new skirts, some new tops, and a pair of caprices. I also bought WitheringOctopus these very cool patchy jeans for all of her help with everything and just for going with me in general since I don't feel comfortable shopping for clothes by myself yet, though I MORE than enjoyed her company. When I was paying for everything at the last store we stopped at some macho jerks tried to make fun of me by saying "Did you try all that on before you decided to buy them." and I responded shortly by saying that I did before I payed and we left. I wasn't really bothered by what they said until much later. I don't really want to give them the time of day by worrying about some jackhole comment they made as if it matters but still.....I find myself doing just that as if it DOES. I have a boy body, I know that. I don't need people to point that out to me in hopes of making me ashamed of who I am.